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| -rw-r--r-- | content/blog/2025/2024-in-retrospect.md | 92 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | content/blog/2025/bookmarks-dec.md | 15 |
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diff --git a/content/blog/2025/2024-in-retrospect.md b/content/blog/2025/2024-in-retrospect.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..632cb3a --- /dev/null +++ b/content/blog/2025/2024-in-retrospect.md @@ -0,0 +1,92 @@ ++++ +title = "2024 in retrospect" +author = ["Michał Sapka"] +date = 2025-01-02T21:37:00+01:00 +categories = ["blog"] +draft = false +weight = 2001 +image_dir = "blog/images" +image_max_width = 600 +Abstract = "Content warnig: cancer, developmental problem and other scares" +Listening = "Nightwolf · Bohren & der Club of Gore" +Listening_Url = "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_sAquIWE8o" ++++ + +**Please note that content warning is warranted.** +**The year was good, but I touch unpleasant subjects.** +**_O tempora!_** + +I have never done a retrospect here. +I've made the rookie mistake of writing (or even having) plans for upcoming year, but that was futile. +Now I don't even plans of dinner. +So, even though mistakes were made in the past, this time I am armed with experience and only looking back. + +Let's start with my personal life. +I don't write about it often, as it's trespassing on the lives of closest to me, but I think they'll allow me to indulge myself here. +It's also a subject I don't particularly _enjoy_ thinking of, not to even mention writing about. +The last few years of my life were centered around two things: my wife's cancer and my son's developmental problems. +I think I'll write about what king of toll being a cancer caregiver takes, but that's not the day. +Today is a happy day, as both of those things are doing great... or terribly, depending on who you ask! +My wife is now 6 years after initial treatment and still in full remission. +It's crazy expensive ([we are raising funds for continuous treatment!](https://justyna.sapka.me)), but she beat all chances and prognoses. +Not only is she still alive, but her cancer has not shown any signs of returning. +Similarly, my son (who was born prematurely) is beating all his problems like a champ. +He struggles, but all signs point toward him needing only some extra time to catch up. +Being a father of prematurely born child is a horror show on it's own, but none of the worst cases materialized. +I am also not showing no bigger problems, though it is time to do something about my cholesterol - it's elevated and I'm _almost_ 40, so it's time. +I have been diagnosed with asthma, but it seems I had it my entire life. +All in all, my personal life is as good as it could have been. +I was not expecting it to be as good as it is, but panic attacks still happen, and dreams often become nightmares. + +In other side of my personal life, my father passed away. +We had complicated relation, and I still don't know how I feel about his death. +Another subject I don't want to pollute this happy site with. + +Work-wise, well. +I was not laid off, which is an accomplishment in 2024. +But what have I done? +On one hand, I have not much to show. +I enjoy it, I like our product and my team - which is always great. +I also don't have much stress - which is extremely great. +Just think: I could have ended in something like Netflix! +I would have had heart attack by now! +I have also delivered some _small_ projects which was a lot of fun. +Recently, I've added plain-text transactional emails to one of the subsystems we own, which brought a huge smile to my face, even though I don't think any client will notice. +It was a rather a case of thing I wanted to do to make the product (and the web) better. + +But more important things come from years of introspection. +I've been a software engineer for 10 years now (in the same company btw!), ever since I've changed fields from semi-manual labor. +After this 10 years I think I start to understand what _kind_ of software engineer I want to be. +I am glad I work on the backend (I like Ruby more and more), and I love that most of my work can be done using terminal and Emacs. +I don't care much about new technologies, even if some say it's professional suicide. +What I care about it simplicity and stability. +And even though we work with Kubernetes running on AWS, I think my little world allows for that. +I have yet to be forced to do anything with GenAI, and somehow I managed to leave a small crack in our "local" development environment which will allow me not to use docker. +What I add to the plate is a different mindset, as I am an outlier. +Unique doesn't always mean good, but I think in this case it does. +I'd love to have some more cool projects shipped _under my lead_ next year, and there are signs for that. +What I'd love even more would be if I believed in the product side of the project - but that also looks promising. + +Money is between those two areas. +Funny, how swiftly priorities shift when health problems arise - and I don't even live in the US! +My mental state _requires_ me to have a significant buffer of rainy day founds. +If my wife's illness returns - it will be expensive. +If my son's problems get worse - it will be expensive. +If my CEO gets the crazy idea of mutating my position into some GenAI investment - there will be no income. +I _need_ to have a dozen or so months of normal expenses secured, and my earnings allow for that. +Guess this is why I look at apartment prices with laughter (1,5mil PLN for 70 meters? This stopped being funny some half a mil ago.), as I can't add a huge liability. +This is also why I'm delaying purchasing a real computer for months, even though I really-really-really want to have full FreeBSD compatible desktop. +My job allows me to save a not insignificant sum, and this is what allows me to sleep at night. + +Sadly, the IT business is going in the worst direction, but I've already [written about it](/blog/2024/llms-scare-me/). +As a counter measure, as I still love computes, my spare time is split between just few things. +I hack on this site, I use old tech (FVMW! Emacs), I interact with like minded folks online (IRC, Mastodon). +I love you all - the people I social with, and you who read this via web or RSS. +I have also started my first _true_ open source project - [Chotto](/projects/chotto/), and it should be usable in a month or so. + +A good year is a boring year. +A great year is a very boring year. +I look at future with growing distaste and huge amount of panic. +2024 has bean a good year, as nothing bad happened to me or the closest to me. + +Here's to another dull year! diff --git a/content/blog/2025/bookmarks-dec.md b/content/blog/2025/bookmarks-dec.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..e43cf29 --- /dev/null +++ b/content/blog/2025/bookmarks-dec.md @@ -0,0 +1,15 @@ ++++ +title = "Bookmark dump for December 2024" +author = ["Michał Sapka"] +date = 2025-01-03T16:14:00+01:00 +categories = ["blog"] +draft = false +weight = 2001 +image_dir = "blog/images" +image_max_width = 600 +Abstract = "Link dump!" ++++ + +{{< bookmark-month month="2024-12" >}} +2024-11 +{{< /bookmark-month >}} |